Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize