Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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