awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
