I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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