I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
