Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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