Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
