What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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