Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
