she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize