Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
