I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
