Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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