You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
