The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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