Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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