My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
