But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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