we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He better not be in your backpack
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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