you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
