i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
