grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
