I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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