do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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