Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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