...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
As shirtless as possible
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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