So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
birth control should be required to get into college
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
