how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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