I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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