I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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