Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
