she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
