I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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