I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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