I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
