Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she looked like the before picture.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
