My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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