Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I can't turn off my feet"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
