omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
