weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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