I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
