idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
