we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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