I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
