dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
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