there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
