There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
soo... how was my night?
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