"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
