I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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