yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
