I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
