yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sponge bath it is.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
