it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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