i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
