yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How drunk are you?
Completed.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize