Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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