are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
