Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We left an ass print on the piano.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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