I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
