I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
