i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
