I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
