Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize