you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize