You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
