and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
