Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
it's like iHOP with fire
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
