dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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