Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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