Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
