he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
