that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
