went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
