Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
