Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
