Your tits are I can't wait for
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
