You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
