weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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