A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
